Letters are a beautiful thing, they convey more emotion than messages,calls or face to face conversations ever will, but this generation doesn’t understand that since messages and calls are more convenient. That was until you came, a stranger with a ferocious voice suddenly called me on my landline asking for someone named Julian only to find out it was a wrong number, but for some reason even after knowing it was a wrong number you never stopped calling, always asking if I was okay and how my days were going, honestly it felt odd at first but when I found out you had no one to talk to, no one by your side, maybe it was out of pity or because you reminded me too much of myself but slowly I started opening up more and more to you. You were like a blessing who came into my boring life, an entity who I could rely on, who I could be honest with.
So it makes me sometimes believe being with you for hours on call, maybe even someone like me is able to love someone like you, and I know it is weird but yes of course I’d be worried if you start violently coughing on the call after all you are someone so precious to me. Especially considering you live alone with no one to take care of you, god if only I knew your address, I’d be there in a heartbeat, after all no one would want to lose something like a family after begging for one almost your whole life…definitely not a mother like figure, I’ve already lost one, a mother who neglected her child from the moment she gave birth to it to 5 years later when she dropped it off to an orphanage.
It was all so sickening, even as a child I had realised she didn’t love me considering she wasn’t even willing to give me her last name, I was forever just Miley…But that’s not important, she’s not important, what’s important right now is that Ms.Reinburg is sick and not responding. What should I do? I am in a complete blunder. And it doesn’t help that my neighbour is making so much noise, wait…my neighbour? Since when did I have a neighbour? If I remember correctly I am the only one occupying this building…Just what is going on?!? Firstly Ms.Reinburg and now this, should I call the police. No, I am not sure if it is really an intruder or if I just recently got a neighbour, if it turns out to be a false alarm I’d just be causing trouble for the landlord and knowing how he is, I’d be forced to give him and the neighbour some weird compensation. Shall I go check myself? Yes, that’d be more wise to do so, I am sorry Ms.Reinburg but I first need to ensure my safety in order to find traces of you and ensure your safety too.
Was carrying a baseball bat the wrong choice while having a ‘friendly visit’? Ha, nevermind that let’s just knock on the door and get this over with…what’s this? I’ve been knocking for a minute now and I clearly hear noises instead of moving around, so why are they not opening up? Was i correct? Is it perhaps a criminal taking shelter here? Huh wait…did something heavy just fall inside, that was a very loud sound, is the person okay? Ah, to hell with it, that was the only statement that came to mind as I kicked the door hard, only to find out it was very much unlocked. Even though that was embarrassing, making sure the person was okay mattered more, but the twisted sight I saw once I entered was enough to make me feel utterly disgusted. It was a sight I never wished to see, a room filled with pictures of me, from a baby to an adult, pictures that I never knew of, the whole room was covered with it, and in the midst of it all laid an old woman, breathless and as still as a corpse…with piles of papers scattered everywhere and a landline.
While I stood frozen at one place, too overwhelmed to process anything and everything, the wind did me a favour and flew a piece of paper towards me…It was a letter, written to me, a letter I never received, when I looked closely I noticed all of them, ever single paper in that room was a letter, all dedicated to me, signed ‘Ms.Reinburg’. And then it hit me..Ms.Reinburg was my mother, all this time my name was Miley Reinburg..This- this, all of this was too much, just what was going on? What are these letters, why do all of them contain the same words begging me for forgiveness?? Just why when it was all her fault, why does she expect me to forgive her? But the sad part was I also wanted to forgive her, I wanted to be able to love her, I waited everyday for her to reach out but she never did, and now that I know she’s sorry, she left me in this world without even hearing my answer…
So what am I to say when my children ask me about how their grandma was like, do I tell them about how you neglected me, or do I tell them about all the beautiful conversations we had over the call? Just what do I do Ma…please tell me. Write me a letter perhaps if god allows but this time please send it to me, before it’s too late, and I know I am too late to be saying this but..I love you Ms.Reinburg.
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